EuroEnglish

The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, the "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, the sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters and komputers kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf twenty persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Goverments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they will be removed.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it esi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem of a komon languag vil finali kom tru.

(I can't wait) How about you?????????

Back to Jokes Page