Thoughts to Keep You Up At Night
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station. . .
- Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
- Does fuzzy logic tickle?
- If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
- I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
- How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
- I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
- If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
- I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
- What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
- Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
- Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
- Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
- Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
- Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
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