Thoughts to Keep You Up At Night

  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station. . .
  • Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
  • If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
  • I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
  • How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
  • I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
  • If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?
  • If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
  • Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
  • I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
  • Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
  • What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
  • What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
  • If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
  • Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
  • Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
  • Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
  • Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
  • Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
  • Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  • Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Back to Jokes Page