The World's Best Rum Cake

2 T sugar
1 cup dried fruit
1 t baking soda
2 large eggs
1/2 cup lemon juice
     1 - 2 Quarts Light or Dark Rum
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup butter
1 t Baking Powder
1 cup nuts
DISCLAIMER

If you are UNDER 21, you must LEAVE NOW!! If you are OVER 21..Oops, wrong Disclaimer. Sorry!! The disclaimer I wanted is, "Do NOT operate any equipment, Heavy, Light or any other type, after trying to prepare this cake. The Management of this Home Page is not and will not be responsible for you actions should you try to operate any equipment of this nature.
Directions:

Before starting, sample the rum to check its quality. Good, isn't it? Now, select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again, as it must be just right. To be sure of the proper quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.

With electric bixer, meat one cup of butter in large fluffy bowl. Add sesthspoon of thugar and geat abain. Meanwhile, make sure rum is still all right. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary. Add leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat 'til high. If fruit gets stuck in beaters, pry loose with a drewscriber.

Sample rum again, checking for tonscistricity. Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt (really doesn't matter which). Sample rum. Sift one-half pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown sugar, or whatevery color you can find and wix mell. Grease oven. Turn cakepan to 350 grades. Pour mess into boven and ake. Check rum again.

Go take a nap.

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